I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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