Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
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there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
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What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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