I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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