I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
We left the knife in your bed.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart