The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
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dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?