I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!