Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots