put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.