Texts From Last Night

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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.

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  (412): Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head. http://tfl.nu/0n78
  Replies (114) Good night (8841) Bad night (1381)
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  (516): View more from New York

  He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.

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  (516): He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one. http://tfl.nu/wrt6
  Replies (34) Good night (9599) Bad night (1123)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.

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  (724): Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote. http://tfl.nu/ighh
  Replies (26) Good night (4057) Bad night (1702)
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  (863): View more from Florida

  In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us

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  (863): In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us http://tfl.nu/7cnb
  Replies (4) Good night (2428) Bad night (1097)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.

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  (612): I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look. http://tfl.nu/oye1
  Replies (9) Good night (3139) Bad night (903)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.

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  (401): It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss. http://tfl.nu/0y0a
  Replies (1) Good night (1286) Bad night (1277)
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  (+66): View more from Thailand

  Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.

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  (+66): Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees. http://tfl.nu/3h4e
  Replies (10) Good night (2431) Bad night (801)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.

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  (706): On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related. http://tfl.nu/0zhl
  Replies (12) Good night (2651) Bad night (664)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.

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  (937): Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast. http://tfl.nu/uerp
  Replies (7) Good night (1466) Bad night (723)
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  (510): View more from California

  I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay

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  (510): I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay http://tfl.nu/zswj
  Replies (15) Good night (1626) Bad night (892)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work

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  (614): do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work http://tfl.nu/2knt
  Replies (6) Good night (1311) Bad night (647)
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five

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  (928): I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five http://tfl.nu/12yz
  Replies (3) Good night (997) Bad night (449)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.

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  (970): Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome. http://tfl.nu/bzxi
  Replies (1) Good night (365) Bad night (540)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.

  (503): View more from Oregon

  ......how on earth do you do that?

  (425): View more from Washington

  NINJAAAA

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  (425): I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style. (503): ......how on earth do you do that? (425): NINJAAAA http://tfl.nu/oky6
  Replies (8) Good night (837) Bad night (796)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  the girl whose rug I peed on is here

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  (205): the girl whose rug I peed on is here http://tfl.nu/6wyj
  Replies (4) Good night (386) Bad night (574)

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