They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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