i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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