dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
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I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
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Watching her eat just hurts me
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
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