Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
