it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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