Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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