Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
