i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
17 year olds will be the death of me.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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