yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
