i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
