i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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