Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
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