Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
