bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
