What a fucking waste of an outfit
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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