Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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