You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
