we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize