I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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