I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
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