Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Randomize
