I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize