Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Let's get the cat blown out
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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