i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
