Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
