WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
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