Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
