Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Randomize
