And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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