Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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