He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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