On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
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