This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?