Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(828): View more from North Carolina

proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted

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(609): View more from New Jersey

I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(301): View more from Maryland

I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls

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(925): View more from California

We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?

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(503): View more from Oregon

I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.

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(805): View more from California

Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.

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(701): View more from North Dakota

Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.

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