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• (360): View more from Washington

  I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock

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• (904): View more from Florida

  Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?

  (1-904): View more from Florida

  six.

  (904): View more from Florida

  Oh, I thought it was higher.

  (1-904): View more from Florida

  No, that would be the Matt's

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• (916): View more from California

  Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?

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• (407): View more from Florida

  I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.

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  Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain

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• (646): View more from New York

  Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Only the gays

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• (907): View more from Alaska

  Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.

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• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (250): View more from British Columbia

  we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  So, were they human bite marks at least?

  (434): View more from Virginia

  Your guess is as good as mine.

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go

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• (813): View more from Florida

  I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.

  (727): View more from Florida

  Who says it wasn't?

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier

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