Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (484): drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart. http://tfl.nu/h0kh
  Replies (14) Good night (1101) Bad night (2750)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (804): no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR http://tfl.nu/vnpf
  Replies (10) Good night (870) Bad night (5137)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval http://tfl.nu/opwb
  Replies (7) Good night (7045) Bad night (696)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me. http://tfl.nu/4mjy
  Replies (14) Good night (3076) Bad night (1064)
• Favorite

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (662): He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv. http://tfl.nu/kqij
  Replies (7) Good night (2927) Bad night (1355)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes. http://tfl.nu/57eb
  Replies (50) Good night (2366) Bad night (5420)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (702): Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament. http://tfl.nu/k9l6
  Replies (8) Good night (1463) Bad night (597)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously! http://tfl.nu/q8vz
  Replies (9) Good night (1674) Bad night (657)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you. http://tfl.nu/vise
  Replies (9) Good night (696) Bad night (3185)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (801): He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water http://tfl.nu/etec
  Replies (6) Good night (734) Bad night (686)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (270): My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore. http://tfl.nu/ol80
  Replies (4) Good night (350) Bad night (964)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos. http://tfl.nu/tzt2
  Replies (4) Good night (697) Bad night (350)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out. http://tfl.nu/biah
  Replies (5) Good night (437) Bad night (258)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library http://tfl.nu/iddb
  Replies (5) Good night (277) Bad night (389)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance http://tfl.nu/8es4
  Replies (7) Good night (317) Bad night (440)

Randomize