I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.