Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
25 Adults Reveal The Most Embarrassing Stories From When They Were Kids
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.