Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(509): View more from Washington

This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.

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(952): View more from Minnesota

Is he smart?

(1-952): View more from Minnesota

Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.

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(734): View more from Michigan

I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.

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23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
Read it at the TFLN blog
(651): View more from Minnesota

professor came back from spring break missing a tooth

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(816): View more from Missouri

This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.

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(916): View more from California

In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?

(1-916): View more from California

Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.

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(423): View more from Tennessee

God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.

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(308): View more from Nebraska

On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?

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