Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
