Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Is it because I queefed?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
