After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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