Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
