it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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