the new term for farting is butt boxing.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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