Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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