Me too!
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I need to sanitize my soul.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
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