youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
