he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize