When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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