ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
