the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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