she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
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I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
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