u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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