btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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