I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
