Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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