Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
