Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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