So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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