Where are you?
In a non slutty way
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
