And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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