tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
