Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
