I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
She said her name was "party"
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
