I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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