I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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