I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
So I just went to clothing optional bar
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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