I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
