You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
